Saturday, January 31, 2009

I live in New England

It always cracks me up ....

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in New England.

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England..

If “Vacation” means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England..

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.

If you have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again, you live in New England.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England..

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
UPDATE: If you're going 90 and everyone is passing you, you're on Route 2 out of Boston at rush hour. If you're dragracing and losing the race to the next light, you're on Commonwealth Avenue.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.

If you find 10 degrees “a little chilly”, you live in New England.

3 comments:

  1. I remember those Dairy Queens (and the local competitors, in their little shacks) being closed all winter. Is that really only New England?

    Jonathan

    ReplyDelete
  2. This list resonates with people from Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine. People from those states don't consider CT, RI and MA to part of New England anyway, so if you didn't get the joke, that's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I live in Texas and I thought it was weird last Wednesday when I slipped and slid on icy roads all the way to work, stayed there 8 hours and walked outside at 4:30 pm to find the temperature had risen to 76 degrees (a record high for the date). It was the strangest weather day I have ever experienced except for the day sometime in the early 90's when we had a freak snow storm on April 1st (no lie) that dumped 12 inches of snow through the night and early morning and by noon, it was completely melted and 75 degrees.

    But seriously, DQ closing for the winter? That would be an outrage here in rural Texas. Every small town I know of has a DQ. They are an essential part of small town life.

    ReplyDelete