Sunday, May 17, 2009

Linda's Top Ten Excuses

It's such a shame that students have to work at stuff.

Linda's Top 10 Excuses for Not Passing Physical Science, Frankly, Any Class Really.
The excuses parents hear - followed by what it REALLY means
  1. My teacher didn't teach this
    1. What it REALLY means - I didn't show up at school until 1/2 way (or more) through the class, and she refused to immediately stop the class, return to the beginning, and teach it all again - but, this time, speeded up.
  2. My teacher didn't help me
    1. When I finally got around to working, my teacher didn't serve me as my personal tutor, and ignore all the rest of the class, who HAD been working - so, it's really HER fault
  3. My teacher never explains this
    1. I missed the explanation/lab/whatever, due to:
      1. Talking
      2. Drawing
      3. Sleeping, and/or
      4. Texting
  4. My teacher's tests are too hard - any or all of the following apply
    1. I didn't read the textbook
    2. I didn't read the end-of-chapter summary
    3. I didn't ask questions
    4. I didn't listen to the answers
    5. I took no notes
    6. I copied everything in class/lab from the smart kid - it wasn't my fault that he/she wouldn't let me copy off his/her test
    7. I had a really important television show to watch
  5. My teacher acts like his/her class is the only one
    1. And gets mad when I try to do my math homework in class
    2. And won't excuse my cutting class to complete my English paper
    3. And expects me to show up for tutoring after school
  6. My teacher never is around
    1. When I show up after school, without an appointment, during the same time as the Faculty Meeting (which I knew about from the afternoon announcements)
    2. And won't give up her lengthy 22-minute lunch without an appointment
    3. And expects to keep her doctor's appointment, even though I have tears in my eyes and am begging and everything
  7. My teacher hates me
    1. Just because I called her a b---h when she wouldn't give me help during the test
    2. Because she wouldn't give me a "breathing" D - and, I really was!  Breathing, I mean - every class
  8. Nobody can pass this test
    1. Unless they like, STUDY, or something unreasonable
    2. So, of course, all those OTHER students, who passed, must have been given the answers in advance
  9. The amount of work is ridiculous!
    1. A warm-up activity, EVERY DAY!  That is based on what was done the previous class!  (Like I remember!  That was YESTERDAY!)
    2. We only had 2 weeks to complete the study guide!  Which we ONLY got 100 points for!
    3. She even assigned a project!  That wasn't a poster!
    4. She even expects us to read the textbook!  Or, at least the chapter summary!  Now, that's WAY too much!
  10. She won't travel to the state to insist that they not count my high-stakes test!
    1. She "claims" that the test is based on what we were doing in class.  As if I did any of THAT stuff!

"It is SOOOO unfair. I like to hear myself whine but I know that Mommy and Daddy will come in and complain. The principal will raise the grade afterwards anyway or demand endless reams of paperwork to 'justify' the failing grade."

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