Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Habits of Highly Ineffective Principals - Cop-Speak

Officer Callahan is your Buddha, cop-speak is your Mantra.

You must re-brand everything in the worst cop-speak you can:
  • If a kid refuses to do what a teacher tells him to do, don't say "For refusal to obey a stupid order" but rather for "Insubordination". (You have to make it sound really bad)
  • Taking an Advil for PMS should be called "Illegal Drug Use" and warrants a strip-search.
  • Pocket knives and nail clippers are "Illegal Dangerous Weapons"
  • Horseplay is "Assault, Level 1" because calling it horseplay isn't mean enough.
  • Use words like "Perpetrating" cause they use those at the station.
  • Call the police if she won't stop texting. That'll teach her.

N.B. I'm not ragging on cops here. I understand that they have to do their jobs in a world of lawyers who delight in hanging cops by their words, so they HAVE to be careful. Principals need to keep things in perspective. Using cop-speak is a sign of a good cop but not a good administrator. Then its a sign of a highly ineffective principal.

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