You must re-brand everything in the worst cop-speak you can:
- If a kid refuses to do what a teacher tells him to do, don't say "For refusal to obey a stupid order" but rather for "Insubordination". (You have to make it sound really bad)
- Taking an Advil for PMS should be called "Illegal Drug Use" and warrants a strip-search.
- Pocket knives and nail clippers are "Illegal Dangerous Weapons"
- Horseplay is "Assault, Level 1" because calling it horseplay isn't mean enough.
- Use words like "Perpetrating" cause they use those at the station.
- Call the police if she won't stop texting. That'll teach her.
N.B. I'm not ragging on cops here. I understand that they have to do their jobs in a world of lawyers who delight in hanging cops by their words, so they HAVE to be careful. Principals need to keep things in perspective. Using cop-speak is a sign of a good cop but not a good administrator. Then its a sign of a highly ineffective principal.