Linda's Top Ten Excuses

It's such a shame that students have to work at stuff.

Linda's Top 10 Excuses for Not Passing Physical Science, Frankly, Any Class Really.
Dude.
The excuses parents hear - followed by what it REALLY means

1. My teacher didn't teach this
   1. What it REALLY means - I didn't show up at school until 1/2 way (or more) through the class, and she refused to immediately stop the class, return to the beginning, and teach it all again - but, this time, speeded up.
2. My teacher didn't help me
   1. When I finally got around to working, my teacher didn't serve me as my personal tutor, and ignore all the rest of the class, who HAD been working - so, it's really HER fault
3. My teacher never explains this
   1. I missed the explanation/lab/whatever, due to:
      1. Talking
      2. Drawing
      3. Sleeping, and/or
      4. Texting
4. My teacher's tests are too hard - any or all of the following apply
   1. I didn't read the textbook
   2. I didn't read the end-of-chapter summary
   3. I didn't ask questions
   4. I didn't listen to the answers
   5. I took no notes
   6. I copied everything in class/lab from the smart kid - it wasn't my fault that he/she wouldn't let me copy off his/her test
   7. I had a really important television show to watch
5. My teacher acts like his/her class is the only one
   1. And gets mad when I try to do my math homework in class
   2. And won't excuse my cutting class to complete my English paper
   3. And expects me to show up for tutoring after school
6. My teacher never is around
   1. When I show up after school, without an appointment, during the same time as the Faculty Meeting (which I knew about from the afternoon announcements)
   2. And won't give up her lengthy 22-minute lunch without an appointment
   3. And expects to keep her doctor's appointment, even though I have tears in my eyes and am begging and everything
7. My teacher hates me
   1. Just because I called her a b---h when she wouldn't give me help during the test
   2. Because she wouldn't give me a "breathing" D - and, I really was!  Breathing, I mean - every class
8. Nobody can pass this test
   1. Unless they like, STUDY, or something unreasonable
   2. So, of course, all those OTHER students, who passed, must have been given the answers in advance
9. The amount of work is ridiculous!
   1. A warm-up activity, EVERY DAY!  That is based on what was done the previous class!  (Like I remember!  That was YESTERDAY!)
   2. We only had 2 weeks to complete the study guide!  Which we ONLY got 100 points for!
   3. She even assigned a project!  That wasn't a poster!
   4. She even expects us to read the textbook!  Or, at least the chapter summary!  Now, that's WAY too much!
10. She won't travel to the state to insist that they not count my high-stakes test!
    1. She "claims" that the test is based on what we were doing in class.  As if I did any of THAT stuff!

"It is SOOOO unfair. I like to hear myself whine but I know that Mommy and Daddy will come in and complain. The principal will raise the grade afterwards anyway or demand endless reams of paperwork to 'justify' the failing grade."

9 Kinds of Stupid Right There

Texting while Driving a Bus at 60 mph.

It's more than 50% likely that this guys a fool.

Via The Bad Astronomer and Mark C. Chu-Carroll comes what is probably the most probability-challenged statement of the year.

If it could happen or not happen, then the odds must be 50-50.

WOW.

Watch it all or forward to Walter Wagner at about the 2:15 mark.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Large Hadron Collider
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis First 100 Days

This is from the Daily Show and is pretty interesting until Wagner makes his mind-blowingly stupid remark.

But then, the guy sued in a Honolulu court to stop the collider, which isn't even in this country, so his lawsuit has a 50-50 change of going his way -- either he'll win or he won't, right?

Essendon wins Anzac Day Match vs Collingwood

You can't watch the whole thing but the last ten minutes were pretty special. Fortunately, YouTube comes to the rescue.

Up to sixth in the standings! Woot!
Attending the Anzac Day match has been on the Bucket List for years.

Wish List

Wish list only has one thing on it right now:

I have GOT to get me one of those ...

Too silly. The recruiter can't even make a pitch.

From SFGate:

Now Arcata is at it again, with a law blocking the military from recruiting anybody in town under the age of 18. And this time, the law has the backing not of a few City Council activists, but of thousands of voters who went to the polls in November.

So?
These kids wouldn't make very good soldiers anyway. This is actually a blessing in disguise - now the recruiter doesn't have to waste his time offering good opportunities to the children of fools. The military is not for everyone and as soon as the armed forces figure that out, they'll have an easier time filling the ranks. Why? Because the ones who go in will be more serious about it and won't drop out the first time the drill sergeant wakes up the precious little snowflakes at 0430 by banging a trash can. (That sound still gets my heart racing after how many years?)

Political Humor

I just find this funny. Maybe it's because I know a bunch of people who wouldn't see the humor in it at all. Of course, working for a living before you become a teacher does have a way of bringing idealism up to the level of pragmatism.

From WND, we get the Joke of the Day:
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be president some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were president, what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed.
"Wow...what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy go over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

Is the glass half empty or half full? Neither. It's twice as big as it needs to be.

Practice makes _______? Take a guess.

From over at Right Wing Nation, there is something that bears repeating.

From Art and Fear:

The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot -albeit a perfect one - to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work - and learning from their mistakes - the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

As the RightWing Prof says, "There’s a lesson there."

Yes, there certainly is. In HighSchool World (different from REAL World), the idea of practice has gone out the window. Practice is labeled "Drill and Kill" and those who practice it are denigrated and denounced (though maybe denounced is too harsh a word). Our curriculum coordinator uses "Drill and Kill" to kill any reform that smells of mastery. She much prefers spiraling and discovery and "Guide on the Side" -- to the exclusion of everything else.

And then there's the textbook that I get to use:

"Factoring is the process of using the distributive process to represent a mathematical expression as a product. For example, the expression 2x+6 can be factored into the equivalent expression 2(x+3). Similarly, the expression 2x²+3x-5 can be expressed as (2x+5)(x-1)"

On the face of it, that sounds okay. We've avoided any mention of FOIL. Succinct and clear. And then you realize that there's nothing more. Those three sentences are the extent of the factoring. That's it. No further explanations, no practice problems.

The whole "book" is like that.

Thankfully I have plenty of stuff of my own making and of the Dale Seymour series so I've got as much as the kids need, but it still amazes me that the authors of this course (and the people who chose it) don't feel it necessary to explain HOW or give some repetitive DOING.

Anzac Day, April 25th

Lone Pine Hill Memorial

"Anzac Day runs deeper than nationalism or military pride," said The Australian.

Australian and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) forces landed on the western side of the Gallipoli Peninsula (now part of Turkey) in 1915 during World War I. The objective was a quick strike at the Ottoman Empire, capture Constantinople (now Istanbul) and open The Dardanelles. ANZACs fought their way in to the beach, across the sand, and up the hills directly into Turkish small arms and artillery fire (under the command of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk). Both sides took heavy losses and eight months later, the Allies withdrew, giving up the two square kilometers of ground. After the war, over 40 memorials and war cemeteries were built for the 36,000 Commonwealth and over 86,000 Turkish dead.


The Band Played Waltzing Matilda
Eric Bogle

When I was a young man, I carried me pack
and I lived the free life of a rover
from the Murray's green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my Matilda all over.

Then in 1915, my country said, "Son,
It's time to stop ramblin', there's work to be done.
They gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
and they sent me away to the war.

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
as our ship pulled away from the key.
And amid all the cheers, flag waving, and tears
we sailed off to Gallipoli.

When I remember that terrible day
when our blood stained the sand and the water.
and how in that hell that they called Suvla Bay
we were butchered like lambs at the slaughter

Johnny Turk he was ready, oh he primed himself well
He rained us with bullets and shot us with shells
and in five minutes flat, we were all blown to hell.
Nearly blew us back home to Australia.

But the Band played Waltzing Matilda
as we stopped to bury our slain.
We buried ours and the Turks buried theirs
and we started all over again.

Those who were living just tried to survive
in a mad world of blood, death, and fire
and for ten weary weeks, I kept myself alive
while around me, the corpses piled higher.

Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over head
and when I awoke in my hospital bed
I saw what it had done and I wished I were dead
I never knew there were worse things than dying.

For I'll go no more waltzing Matilda
all around the green bush far and near
for to hup tent and pegs, a man needs both legs
no more waltzing Matilda for me

They collected the crippled, the wounded, the maimed
and they shipped us back home to Australia
the armless, the legless, the blind, the insane
those proud wounded heroes of Suvla.

And as our ship pulled into Circular Key
and I looked at the place where my legs used to be
I thanked Christ there was no one waiting for me
to grieve and to mourn or to pity

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
as they carried us down the gangway
but nobody cheered they just stood there and stared
and they turned all their faces away.

So now every April I sit on my porch
and I watch the parade pass before me
I see my old comrades, how proudly they march,
renewing their dreams of past glory.

I see the old men, how tired, stiff and sore
The weary old heroes of a forgotten war
The young people ask "what are they marching for?
and I ask myself the same question.

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
And the old men still answer the call.
But year after year, the numbers grow fewer.
Someday no one will march there at all

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
Who'll come Waltzing Matilda with me?
And the ghosts may be heard as you pass by the billabong
You'll come Waltzing Matilda with me.

more on Gallipoli - or just Google "Anzac Day."

Volunteering for Money

The Daily Gazette has an Editorial: Tax breaks for volunteer firemen

"Sen. Charles Schumer ... give volunteer firefighters and emergency medical technicians a $1,000 federal income tax credit ... a state bill to provide property tax breaks for volunteers ... aren’t volunteering ... like they used to. They’re either too busy with their jobs or families, too lazy, too selfish — there are any number of reasons."

Here's the clicher: Schumer wants to give "anyone who spends at least six months as a volunteer and at least 40 hours per year working in that capacity $1,000 off their federal tax bill"

When you put it like that, people will start to calculate the hourly rates and your volunteers will fall even more. Besides, people who volunteer for financial gain tend to be lousy volunteers and far more of a pain in the ass than anything else.

I can see many people starting this process, entering training (at huge cost to the system), hanging around being a pain and wasting the time of the real volunteers and firemen. I can see the Captains in a paperwork nightmare, having to sign off that each man and woman was indeed there for 40 working hours and 6 volunteering months each year. I can see many people showing up, waving and going to their real jobs. I can see resentment forming that "They're only doing it for the G" and "Him? He was here 40 hours?"

"If you do for the reward and recognition, you can't afford it. If you do it for the enjoyment, the reward and recognition comes free of charge."

Strip Search for Advil

We have gone from being ridiculous to completely falling over the line. In Safford vs Redding, the Supreme Court is looking at the case of the middle-school girl who was strip-searched for Advil.

MSNBC has a story here.

Consider:
School officials are "looking for drugs" ( Ibuprophen ). Was there really a danger to the school or students? No, even if she had Motrin. "So what?"

What reason to search? Another girl said she had it and had given her some. Did they confirm this information? No. Did they search her locker? No. Apparently, it didn't occur to Starsky and Hutch that Huggy-Bear might be providing false information.

They searched the backpack and found nothing. So they strip-searched her: they told her to remove her clothes and shake out her underwear. This takes an amazing amount of institutional chutzpah and self-righteousness.

• You have to assume that any rumor is legit.
• Anything in pill form is dangerous, even Motrin.
• All 13-yo girls tell the truth except the one who's guilty.
• How do you know she's guilty? she denies it.
• Want further proof? Search her backpack. If you don't find it there, it means she's more clever than that.
  
• It's in her pockets because she's guilty. Nothing.
  
• She's guilty, look in the seams. Nope.
  
• Aha! She must have hidden it in her underwear.
• and Parents don't care if this happens.
• and Administrators are always right.

• Zero tolerance. Zero brains.

The ends always justify the means. Drugs are so scary bad that any rights or reason must be ignored. The drugs must be found even if they don't exist and the student punished severely regardless of guilt.

Once you're identified, you're guilty until proven innocent - and even then we're still not satisfied - you must have swallowed them!

The Supremes are wondering about danger to school in extreme cases and not wanting to set a precedent. I can buy that because that's their purpose.  There's talk of meth and crack and "possibly having other children die while in their care." This is all well and good but the case in front of them remains a strip-search for nothing on false grounds by an over- zealous administration with no sense of reality or proportion. "The school's lawyer argued that the courts should not limit school officials' ability to search out what they think are dangerous items on school grounds."

Really. Even for Advil?

Happy Birthday, Will

Okay, no one really knows (and some people aren't even sure he existed at all) but April 23rd is the day decided upon.

Even the greatest ones need an editor ...

Those Vermonters - What a hoot.

They did the whole over-ride the Governor's veto thing in Vermont and passed same-sex marriage. Miss California decided she lived in a different country (California a different country? Where have I heard that one before?) and declared: "Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman."

I've heard Ayn Rand quoted a lot recently. Perhaps this quote will suffice here:
"Individual rights are not subject to a public vote: a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority." Ayn Rand

I've mentioned that I'm a Libertarian more than liberal or conservative. I can't for the life of me see why Jay and Jason can't get married if they want to. It's not harming my marriage. Them together is better than them just living together. The one son who's involved sees both his parents and has a stepparent now - just like practically every other one of my students. It's more stable socially and that's the only purpose for a law anyway - to promote social and family stability.

The only people it seems to piss off are those whose religions have said "No." While I sympathize in part with their hurt sensibilities, I can't imagine that either man would ever have any contact or dealing with any of those churches or their followers. I personally don't grant LDS or any other religious group the right to veto this or any other same-sex marriage.

Sorry.

Besides, the anti-group really needs to get somebody better than Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich to lecture piously on morality. Glass houses and all that.